Ever since I was a child, I am ambitious. I wanted to become a princess just like what every little girl wants to be. Now I understood that all toddlers have magical thinking. Perhaps the little boys wanted to become princes too, though a true princess will prefer a knight in shining armor.
I also wanted to become teacher, a doctor, some office girl, or even a cashier. We all have dreams when we were young but most of the time, we don’t end up living those dreams. We often find ourselves overwhelmed with the realities that come our way. We just can’t easily decide where we’re heading to or what we ought to be. No matter how hard we try to do some magical thinking to relieve ourselves, it just doesn’t work that way anymore.
It’s just for months before I finally take the Philippine Nurses Licensure Examination yet until now, I don’t know what’s next. Every time I think about the future, I become troubled. And every time that happens, I can’t help but think about what could have been. I don’t know if I can do this. I still have doubts about myself. I’m not even confident enough that I could be a competent nurse. I stumbled upon the results of my National Career Assessment Exam (NCAE) when I was in the Fourth Year High School. Modesty aside, my lowest percentile rank was 90 – Scientific Ability while I had a 99+ in Verbal Ability. This means that there is a huge chance that I will excel in mass communication, law, teaching, and in any advertising career. I was going to take up Broadcast Communication/Media Studies in UPV. To make the story short, I ended up graduating from St. Paul University Iloilo with a BSN degree and a bronze medal – a Cultural Award… in dance.
Yes, I was forced. Lucky is the person who took that slot in UPV. Kidding. The consolations I have are the experiences that I had and the friends that I gained. Actually, I got something out of my “skills”. I had writing jobs too. As Edgar Winter said, “I can’t imagine anything more worthwhile than doing what I most love. And they pay me for it.” Yeah right.
But here I am, I did not tread the road less traveled by but I don’t hate Nursing. I just know what my passion is. But I have faith and I am trusting that everything will work together for the greater good.
When frustrated, when in regret, I just remember what Ronald Osborn had said, “Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.”
Or maybe… I really was destined to become a princess? 🙂