I’m not quite myself for a few weeks already. I felt down and unstable most of the time, and frankly, I have no idea why. At first, I thought I just needed a whole body massage but no. Maybe it’s because I feel like time is not on my side and in this big unfamiliar jungle, not everything is within my reach. I always have to exert more effort and ironically, it made me lazy and complacent.
I’ve been caught in this work-eat-sleep-shallow fun routine and just today, I realized that I have to do something about it. I lost the humor that everybody loved about me. I know I used to have a pocket full of sunshine, but these days I seemed to walk with cumulus clouds above my head. I lost the hype and the energy that I always carry with me. I lost the inspiration that I have on reserve. I have tucked aside all the positivity. Where did that smiling face go? I’m still lost and I’m not done with my life experiment but I just can’t go on living like a flat line. Tachy can be better.
So just this afternoon, I told myself to get up. And move. To write, read, dance, talk, laugh. Breathe. To do everything that I used to do to get by every day. And damn, I felt a lot better.