I left my comfort zone only to want to go back. I’ve never wanted anything outside of Iloilo, to be honest. But as they say, one needs to find new ground to make new mistakes and learn from them. Getting out of the comfort zone means growing. Perhaps I felt like I needed more variables for my trial-and-error strategy in life.
My Papa calls Manila a jungle. With a rich repository of experiences, he was very hesitant in allowing me to move out. I endured a month of everyday when-in-Manila lectures and reminders. Yes, I was afraid at first, but I was more confident that I can do it on my own. A month after, I realized that at 24, I am still my parent’s child – dependent and not mature enough. I still need them. I had all the freedom that I needed but when I wanted more, I realized that I also want to be constantly humbled down and restrained. When everything seemed to be in my control, I started looking for higher authority and I can never be grateful enough that I have family here.
I’ve been here for nearly 7 months and last long weekend, I was able to come home to fresher air, slower pace, warmer hugs, and convenience. I’ve longed for it so much and I was so glad to finally be home.
But I was ambivalent. I think I could never totally go back to a slower lifestyle after I got a taste of the life in the big city. There’s no greater comfort in being home but there are more challenges to face and more opportunities to grab here in the country’s capital.
I think I’m already 60% done with my life experiment. In going home, I found answers to some questions that had bugged me for months. One thing is for sure, I’d still want to go home every so often. To have a glimpse of my hometown’s progress, to feel the familiar, to savor convenience now and again.
Here’s a song that would probably describe my homesick feels.
Home is somewhere I’ll never get tired of going back to, even if I finally settle in Ireland in the future. 😀
Magbabalik at magbabalik ako sa Iloilo. 🙂 For sure!