I wish Jesus didn’t say that…

I've had more than 25 birthday cakes in my 25 years. Even that, I cannot thank Him enough for.
I’ve had more than 25 birthday cakes in my 25 years. Even that, I cannot thank Him enough for.

…worry is for the worldly because this past year, it has been my motivation. Ironic as it sounds, anxiety and constant fear secured me. For Generation Y nurses, the so-called quarter life crisis starts after the ceremonious Oath Taking. The world’s hunger for nurses is undoubtedly insatiable, but there are hundreds of us who are misemployed. Three mismatched jobs and two major life decisions in two consecutive years after, God sent me this message a day before my birthday:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into fire, will he not much more clothe you – you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek ye first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of his own.” Matthew 6:25-24

Even if I feel inadequate, lost, unsuccessful, unmotivated, disappointed, “Do not worry,” He says.

Me of little faith. Such a shame. His timing was so perfect because He told me this just before I turned 25. He says that His will is always for my benefit and I have no right to be picky. I have no right to choose what only appeals to my flesh because not all my desires are for my welfare.

At first, I wished Jesus didn’t say that because I thought worry kept me going. I was wrong because His mercy and grace did. On my big day, I was reminded of one of my favorite Bible verses:

Proverbs 3:26, “For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.”

Letting go of a childhood dream is tormenting. The journey to acceptance is torturous when you know you have the potential, but you will forever be deprived of your greatest goal in life. It damages your ego and self-worth and makes you think that you will never reach self-actualization. Just when you think you’re good at nothing, God comes with a comfortable duvet to cuddle you with. On my 25th year, I will work on my faith and hold on to His promise more than my worldly desires. My God, He knows best.

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